Hilary's Spotlight | My heart was on E
Why did you decide on Boudoir?
It was spring of 2018 and it was time for the dreaded ceremony us women like to call “The Last Summer’s Shorts Trials”. Yep you know where I’m going with this! It was time to try on last year's shorts to see if they “still fit”. I was completely mortified. Depression hit. Something needed to change. I needed to change. I got dressed for work and decided to play with the new make-up pallet my sister gifted me for Christmas. A smokey purple eye later, I had a little more spunk in my step. Until it was lunch time. A woman came up to me and placed her hand on my stomach. “When are you due sweetie?” Even rock bottom has foundations underneath. I buried myself there that day.
I didn’t like my body. I didn’t like my mind. My heart was on E to loving myself. Where on Earth do I find a gas station for my soul?
My thumb was aimlessly scrolling “the book” on my phone. Pictures of beautiful women everywhere. Bathing suits, beautiful dresses, fresh nails- another wave of depression. I glance down at my bitten nails, feel my oily hair and begin the worst ritual I do to myself; I grab my “rolls” over and over again thinking about what that woman said. I put down my phone and sit in the shower. I don’t know which water pressure was more soothing- the shower head, or my tear ducts. After bathing in my sorrows I picked up my phone again and transitioned back to autopilot scrolling; until I saw it. It was in black and white. You couldn't tell where her body started and where it ended. The shadow work was gorgeous. You could barely make out her curves, but your brain knew what was there. She wore lace. The true color of her lingerie unknown. She was mysterious, she was beautiful, she was classy. I had to become her.
“Amber Jones Photography! How can I help you?”
“Hi… My name’s Hilary...I was interested in having a boudoir shoot?...”
What am I doing…
“Go ahead and pick out 5-7 outfits and we will meet back here in the studio for your boudoir photography shoot. I can’t wait to see your outfits!”
“Okay! *nervous laugh* I can’t wait!”
I get off the phone and walk to the mirror and begin to panic. Change starts with you. That is when I decided to change my world. Time to hit the gym and cap the ice cream (I never said throw it away, emotional emergencies right?). After 12 months of exercise, better eating habits, and better mindset training I was 60 pounds lighter and 1000 mental pounds free. My boudoir photoshoot was actually possible. I know because I asked my friend Mirror, and Mirror unfortunately never lies (we all have at least one blunt friend). Mirror and I agreed. I was ready, inside and out.
“Go ahead and change into the outfit that makes you feel the most comfortable and we can go from there and get started!”
“Sure!” I got this. I got this. They WILL fit.
I look in the mirror as I put on my first outfit and immediately turn this way and that, making sure I’m not “bulging” out of anywhere. My focus finds my face. A smile begins to bloom. Wow...I’m beautiful...
“Okay now you are going to want to arch your back, and when you arch your back you’re going to want to arch even further!”
“Oh my gosh! This is so much fun! I didn’t think my back could even bend like this! Okay, and GO!”
My laughter blends with my confidence. As I changed from one outfit to the next I paid less and less attention to how I feared I looked. I only saw what I was- a Queen. My hair was down with soft curls. I had beautiful dark lipstick on with flawless skin. My eyelashes were dark and full. My body, perfect. Before going for another round of photos I gifted myself a few moments to revel in my accomplishments.
“Okay, how do you feel about nudes?”
“Bring it!”
Here I am. Naked. Posing in a bed with nothing but a white sheet and my birthday suit while a photographer I met a total of two times photographs me. I’m laughing. I’m feeling confident. I’m having the best damn time of my life and I’m already scheduling my next boudoir photoshoot in my head! The last photo is captured. I’m half-naked with the biggest smile on my face, making my way to my personal changing room to change back into my normal clothes. I take one last look at myself and instead of pinching my sides, I place my hands on my heart.
Look at me now.
“Are you ready to see your pictures?!”
“I’m so excited!” It’s finally here. The moment. The reveal.
The slide show began. Hand on my heart I tears of joy streamed down my face. I stared at the last photo...
It was in black and white. You couldn't tell where my body started and where it ended. The shadow work was gorgeous. You could barely make out my curves, but your brain knew what was there. I wore lace. The true color of my lingerie unknown. I was mysterious, I was beautiful, I was classy. I had become me.
“Thank you for helping me find myself. I was there all along”
“YES, YOU WERE and ARE! It was my pleasure to be your boudoir photographer!”
I left with the most precious gift. I left with my true self. Confident, beautiful, classic, sexy, me.
Boudoir Photography gave me back a piece of me I thought was gone forever. Amber made every step fun, easy, and comfortable. I never had to think about what I needed to do. I never made any decision alone. She was there every step of the way, guiding me, posing me, checking in with me. She showed me nothing but support, understanding, and compassion. Putting trust in her helped me trust myself and rediscover my own confidence. This is something I believe every woman should do for themselves. That’s right! Themselves. Pay yourself first. Pay yourself respect, pay yourself self-love, pay yourself the time and attention you deserve. Book your boudoir photoshoot and discover your inner goddess. Bring that Queen out! She has so much to say. I sure did 💗
Your Queen,
Ms. H
👑
To get more information about booking Amber Jones Photography for your boudoir session please reach out to her by clicking the button below!
She is Connecticut’s premier boudoir photographer focused on creating a session that speaks to your heart.